Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize
