In all seriousness though I just found out the dog pissed in my bed it'd be nice to crash somewhere other than my couch while my piss soaked bedding is in the washer
Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
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