i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize