i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
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