My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Randomize
