Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
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