I wannas sexs uuuuu
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
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