My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
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