Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize