They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
Randomize
