bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
Randomize
