oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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