You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
Randomize
