she was so not down for the gang bang
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
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