Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
Randomize
