Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
Randomize
