just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
Randomize
