I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
Randomize
