Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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