So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
Randomize
