I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize
