some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
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