I seem to have left my pride at pride
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
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