As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
I think my fart just growled at me.
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Randomize
