in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
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