Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
Randomize
