There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
my poor anus
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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