Pregnant stripper...not hot.
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
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