just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
Randomize
