don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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