so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
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