We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
Randomize
