the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
Randomize
