I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
Randomize