take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
My dad just said "fuck circus"
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
Then you guys just all showered together...?
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
The ass gains better be worth it
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