I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
Randomize
