This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Randomize
