think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
Randomize
