he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
is this the sara with the beer cane?
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
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