No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize
