i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Randomize
