Taylor Swift is so right about you.
i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
our cab driver is having phone sex.
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
Randomize
