this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
Randomize
