it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
Randomize
