it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
Randomize
