she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
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