3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
i already hear my dad disowning me
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
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