So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Randomize