The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
Randomize
