Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
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