As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
Dicks are not precious.
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize
