Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
Randomize