i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
Randomize
