I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
My vagina just recognized that song.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
How's work?
Spinning.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
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