My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize
