Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
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