Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
You need a sexual gate keeper
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
I have post one night stand depression
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