Midget sex pt 2 tonight
Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
Randomize
