Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
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