covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
Randomize
