he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
Randomize
