There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
Randomize
