Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize
