Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
