like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
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