so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
People with herpes should wear stickers.
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
Randomize
