yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
Randomize
