Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
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