Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
Randomize
