I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
Randomize
