She went from zero to smokin in five shots
can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
Randomize