Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
Randomize
