It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
Help. Why am I so naked?
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
