You're so nebulous sometimes
party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
Randomize
