don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
Is it acceptable to pay for WiFi on flights solely for the purpose of getting on Tinder to find a sugar daddy on the plane that doesn’t mind upgrading me to first class?
Do it. You’re flying for two weddings. You’re gonna need that first class.
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
Randomize
